Mine was an arranged marriage as
per Indian tradition. During our courtship period, my would be wife discussed
about her fancy of “first night”. I asked her, are you willing to consummate
our marriage on first night itself else we can plan it later when she is
comfortable with? Her instant response was I want to consummate it on the day
of wedding itself. Just a day before wedding she confirmed it again.
For our wedding night she has
done all preparations from her end but as I proceed towards her, she u turned
from her statement. She said am afraid of the pain,( pain was an inevitable processes,
she was aware about it)I told it’s fine, we can try one more time, in case you are not
comfortable we can stop it. But our second attempt was unsuccessful as well,
then I told her when you are comfortable with it we can consummate our
marriage. She agreed to it.
I thought the wait would be for a month or so but in my case it was a never ending period. For parties and social gathering we acted a perfect couple but inside bedroom we were 2 strangers. After few month relatives started asking for any “ good news”. She told we don’t want baby now. This silenced people but how long? After some time again questions started cropping up, this time she did something which was beyond my imagination.
She went to a gynecologist stating
we are unable to attain motherhood. By that time we were already married for
more than a year. Then doctor advised us to undergo few medical test, one more
shock was waiting for me in the form of result. She had PCOD(Polycystic Ovary
Syndrome), when I told her about it, she told “I was aware about it”. I asked
how? Response was “ I had it before wedding and doctors told me, I will need
treatment after marriage”. I was left numb after this revelation. I felt she
cheated on me about her issue and that could be the reason for her not willing
for sex.
Doctor prescribed some medicine
for her, which she lie about having sex. The result was negative. She changed
her doctor, this time doctor was smarter than her and he examined her and
discovered that she was virgin. This revelation was made in front of her mother
and mother in law, they both were shocked. Doctor questioned her “how can you become
pregnant without consummating your marriage” She had no answer to this question
and she left. But he gave her some medication for PCOD and advised her to have
sex with husband and then come back.
Post this incident she was
criticized by people for her act. Now she was under tremendous pressure to
establish relation with me. Finally after 1 year 8 months we became husband and
wife in true sense. I was happy while she pretended it. Then once again she
went to the same doctor, this time with me. Doctor was happy that his advice
was adhered to and he changed medicines for her, follow by tips to attain
pregnancy during ovulating days. I saw a different expression on my wife’s
face, first one since our marriage. Didn’t know what future had in store for me
then.
My wife marked the calendar as
per doctor’s advice and forced me indulge in physical relation during that time
other time strict no no. She had no mercy for me all she wanted was a kid with
or without my wish. At times I used to be too tired because of office work
still she forced to have sex with her. My denials were never taken into
consideration. During this time I started hating myself and my body. I felt
prostitutes are in a better position than mine, at least they can say no. Worst
part I didn’t had anyone to seek help from.
My sexual abuse at the hands of my wife
continued for 6 months, and then it stopped as she had achieved her goal. She
had conceived.
If this would have happened to a
married woman , husband would have been behind bars.
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