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Saturday, August 13, 2016

Saga of a sexually abused husband


Mine was an arranged marriage as per Indian tradition. During our courtship period, my would be wife discussed about her fancy of “first night”. I asked her, are you willing to consummate our marriage on first night itself else we can plan it later when she is comfortable with? Her instant response was I want to consummate it on the day of wedding itself. Just a day before wedding she confirmed it again.
For our wedding night she has done all preparations from her end but as I proceed towards her, she u turned from her statement. She said am afraid of the pain,( pain was an inevitable processes, she was aware about it)I told it’s fine, we can  try one more time, in case you are not comfortable we can stop it. But our second attempt was unsuccessful as well, then I told her when you are comfortable with it we can consummate our marriage. She agreed to it.

I thought the wait would be for a month or so but in my case it was a never ending period. For parties and social gathering we acted a perfect couple but inside bedroom we were 2 strangers. After few month relatives started asking for any “ good news”. She told we don’t want baby now. This silenced people but how long? After some time again questions started cropping up, this time she did something which was beyond my imagination.
She went to a gynecologist stating we are unable to attain motherhood. By that time we were already married for more than a year. Then doctor advised us to undergo few medical test, one more shock was waiting for me in the form of result. She had PCOD(Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), when I told her about it, she told “I was aware about it”. I asked how? Response was “ I had it before wedding and doctors told me, I will need treatment after marriage”. I was left numb after this revelation. I felt she cheated on me about her issue and that could be the reason for her not willing for sex.  
Doctor prescribed some medicine for her, which she lie about having sex. The result was negative. She changed her doctor, this time doctor was smarter than her and he examined her and discovered that she was virgin. This revelation was made in front of her mother and mother in law, they both were shocked. Doctor questioned her “how can you become pregnant without consummating your marriage” She had no answer to this question and she left. But he gave her some medication for PCOD and advised her to have sex with husband and then come back.
Post this incident she was criticized by people for her act. Now she was under tremendous pressure to establish relation with me. Finally after 1 year 8 months we became husband and wife in true sense. I was happy while she pretended it. Then once again she went to the same doctor, this time with me. Doctor was happy that his advice was adhered to and he changed medicines for her, follow by tips to attain pregnancy during ovulating days. I saw a different expression on my wife’s face, first one since our marriage. Didn’t know what future had in store for me then.
My wife marked the calendar as per doctor’s advice and forced me indulge in physical relation during that time other time strict no no. She had no mercy for me all she wanted was a kid with or without my wish. At times I used to be too tired because of office work still she forced to have sex with her. My denials were never taken into consideration. During this time I started hating myself and my body. I felt prostitutes are in a better position than mine, at least they can say no. Worst part I didn’t had anyone to seek help from.
 My sexual abuse at the hands of my wife continued for 6 months, and then it stopped as she had achieved her goal. She had conceived.
If this would have happened to a married woman , husband would have been behind bars.