Like any other normal guy ,for me my marriage was also a beautiful event in my life and so "Suhaagraat" the pious and most celebrated first night .
Unfortunately my mother was sick and almost unconscious for the whole day and was on intravenous fluids and medicines and a family doctor was treating her at home only, because of me taking care of my wife thinking that she should not feel alone in a new home and other rituals ,I could not go to my mother and see her. I was feeling like a good husband but a terrible son.
Finally at night (Suhaagraat) when I was with my wife, I requested her .. Can we both go and see Mom ? I want to see my mom and sit beside her for some time ...
That one request... just for few minutes… by a son... for someone who gave her whole life to him , for someone who is on bed waiting with tears in her eyes and seeing the whole world coming to her except her own son and new daughter, that one request ...gave me the answer that my life is screwed.
I was standing dumbs trucked , with my mouth wide open in sheer disbelief what I was witnessing at that time just after ?I requested to see my mother.
My wife started fighting with me and said - How can you even say such things , this is our first night ! and you are talking about your mother , the whole world is there with her, but this night will not come ever.
I protested , said , let us both go , I am not saying that I will sit there whole night , this marriage and Suhagraat is because of Mom only, please do not do this to me and my mother , do not be so insensitive.
She argued more , I was trying to convince her like a good husband, she was not ready at all, all she was saying that her life is screwed now , I am a momma's boy. How can I give my mother priority to a 24 hrs old wife.
I protested more , I was not ready to give up , I said fine, if you do not want to come ..don’t come .. I will go alone...
She cried more , shouted , wailed , in next 10 minutes I saw her crying on the floor, throwing her legs and hands in air , I was traumatized , breathless , was not able to digest what I just saw.
I had to choose.
And I choose my wife over my mother , the most painful ,regretful decision of my life. I had no option , I felt so helpless.
I picked her up from the floor and said to her... do not worry ,I made you cry in our first night, could not understand your feeling , we will go to our mother whenever you feel so..
I cooked Maggi for her , washed her face like a baby, hugged her , pampered her ..all with hidden tears in my eyes.
She was happy , she got what she wanted and then it was time to make love to her ...our Suhaagraat..the auspicious night.
She jumped on bed, to make the night memorable , to fuck each other as if we knew each other since eternity.
We had sex , a pretentious sex , a hollow one with a terrible feeling, fear of future, guilt, numbness.
Hmmm She was happy, I pretended to be happy.
Next morning we went to see my mother . She was lying on bed , she saw her , hugged her kissed her on her forehead. She saw me , tears rolled down on her face, tears rolled down on my face. She did not say anything , I did not say anything.
I felt that somehow she sensed that his son was raped last night in the name of fulfilling his marital duties, as if she was saying “ I am so sorry my Son, I could not help you”
We talked to each other without uttering a single word.